Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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