You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize