What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
tequila makes me forget i have legs
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize