He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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