i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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