I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize