Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
What a dumb baby whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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