theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
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All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
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I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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