Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
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Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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