i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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