He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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