i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
being pregnant is like rehab
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize