i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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