pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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