please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize