I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
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He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
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Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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