your thong is hanging out like whoa
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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