thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize