guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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