i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
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