God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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