Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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