am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
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her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
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You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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