my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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