I murdered the dance floor call the cops
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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