Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize