Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize