Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize