Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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