When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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