Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize