the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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