question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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