the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize