if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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