If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she smelled like a LAN party
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize