Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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