i think my mom watched the whole time
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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