Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
there is puke in my bra ... again
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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