Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
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I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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