So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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