But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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