Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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