Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
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