She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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