I must be too annoying 4 u.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize