I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize