I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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