For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize