i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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